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I Have So Much Love to GIve

by Occurrence

supported by
ollieanders
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ollieanders really got this one, musically a piano ballad, with lyrics dealing with hooking up in this age of social media apps, cut & spliced with aggro EDM noisecore ... something for everyone !! Favorite track: Your Body Is Made of Flesh.
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1.
I have so much love to give To the wrong people I have so much love to give Then it all goes south I have so much love to give It’s bursting forth I have so much love to give Oh just shut your mouth It’s a cross I have to bear Come look upon it It’s a cross I have to bear You know you want to watch It’s a cross I have to bear See how I suffer It’s a cross I have to bear It’s my own heart I debauch Oh will you please be mine An ownership divine Oh whoa Show me yours, I’ll show you mine Pain and desire Show me yours, I’ll show you mine See where it hurts Show me yours, I’ll show you mine Vulnerable lovely Show me yours, I’ll show you mine Face down in the dirt I have so much love to give You can’t unsee it I have so much love to give Makes your eyes avert Oh will you please be mine An ownership divine Oh whoa
2.
Boy Joy 03:22 video
Bring me to the bass line Let me know it’s playtime Give me what you came for Show me to the back door Send me spinning slowly Tell me I’m your only How low can we go now How I love you so now If you come correctly Oh the places you’ll be Joy is given freely When you want it really Look a little harder You will see my ardor Bring me to the bass line Let me know it’s playtime I’ve got it bad for you Please don’t you make me blue Pent up I just won’t quit Want to be full of it I’ve got it bad Got it bad Got it bad for you Bring me to the bass line Let me know it’s playtime Don’t you stop till I say Try again a new way I’ve got it bad for you Please don’t you make me blue Pent up I just won’t quit Want to be full of it I’ve got it bad Got it bad I’ve got it bad for you I’ve got it bad I’ve got it bad I’ve got it bad I’ve got it bad I’ve got it bad I’ve got it bad I’ve got it bad
3.
Where you goin’ Wait, I’m comin’ Wind is blowin’ See me smiling, my dear Feels like flying I’m ecstatic Mystifying Hear the static It’s my way of Lovin’ you Lovin’ you Lovin’ you Lovin’ you Lovin’ you, Lovin’ you Lovin’ you Happy queers make Happy years make Love to give means We forgive means Happy queers make Happy years make Love to give means We forgive means Love Why you frowning Don’t you love me See me longing See me smiling, my dear This is blissful I’m ecstatic Mystifying Hear the static It’s my way of Lovin’ you Lovin’ you Lovin’ you, Lovin’ you Lovin’ you Lovin’ you Lovin’ you Happy queers make Happy years make Love to give means We forgive means Happy queers make Happy years make Love to give means We forgive means Love Come back to me Come back to me Loving you Loving you
4.
A fast waltz A slow mazurka The way that you Walk tonight Cool and calm But with a purpose As if your feet Will take flight I can’t lead I only follow Your hands will guide Where I go With each step Every direction Cause it’s too hard To say no “Spin for me, my dear You are the preferred one” It’s beyond My understanding The way that you Spin me round I try hard Follow your rhythm Unto your chest I am bound You excel At presentation A sweeping hand Sets the scene No three count I’m not allowed to I’m waiting for You to lean “Spin for me, my dear…” Your hand clasps My left shoulder You press so hard I might break I step back Anticipating The way that you Make me ache The notes and beats Swirling and curling Choreographed Perfectly I move back You’re always forward Press on and come Into me “Spin for me, my dear You are the preferred one”
5.
A Plea 03:37
Song and Dance Song and Dance I will find I will find Song and Dance Song and Dance I could be the start Of your life today Drop the world Run away Run away Run away with me Run away with me Drive away Hear me say That it’s love Run away with me Run away with me Song and Dance I will find I will find Run away with me Run away with me I will find I will find Run away with me Run away with me
6.
Drift 00:39
7.
I’ve been too close I can relate I’ve waited for It to abate I’ve run the course I’ve had to stall Did it because I hit the wall … and it’s taken all of me … and it’s taken hold of me … and it’s taken all of my will I feel no shame Causing you pain I feel no pain Causing you shame I’ve been too far Over the line Needing to just Make up my mind I’ve been too near To the attack There was no way I could get back … and it’s taken all of my will I feel no shame Causing you pain I feel no pain Causing you shame … it’ll take in all of you … it’ll swallow all of you … and it’s taken all of my will I feel no shame Causing you pain I feel no pain Causing you shame I hit the wall I hit the wall I hit the wall
8.
Your body’s made of flesh The app appears to say But really it’s much less So I know I won’t stay With you Press enter on each text You think I’m bold and brave It’s nothing more than sex And when I know I came with you I don’t know why I want to be with you I only want to be with you I’ll say Let’s do it Sometime soon again Your body’s made of flesh Just change the sheets and say Go home bud Ain’t no stress My boyfriend’s on the way Nice to meet you I’ll block you when you text You’ll think I’m such a jerk It’s nothing more than sex I’ll know I came with you I don’t know why I want to be with you I only want to be with you I’ll say Let’s do it Sometime soon again Your body’s made of flesh But then I chose to leave My goal was to impress And what did I achieve Press enter on each text You think I’m bold and brave It’s nothing more than sex And when I know I came with you I don’t know why I wanna be with you I only want to be with you I’ll say Let’s do it Sometime soon again And young or not I said, (And young or not I said) It’s nothing but the flesh (It’s nothing but the flesh) We moved on right ahead Our body’s made of flesh Our body’s made of flesh
9.
Tómame Fuerte Bésame No me dejes respirar Mírame Quiero tenerte Quédate No me pueda ya escapar Tómame Ya se te olvidó Bésame Lo que decías Mírame Ya se te olvidó Quédate Nada de esos días Tómame Fuerte Bésame No me dejes respirar Mírame Quiero tenerte Quédate No me pueda ya escapar Tómame Ya se te olvidó Bésame Lo que decías Mírame Ya se te olvidó Quédate Nada que pensar de aquellos días Nada que pensar de aquellos días
10.
Look and see Don’t pity her She felt his love She has hope He made her feel That she was loved So look and see Look and see Don’t pity her She will move on She’ll hang on He’s just a man A man she loved So look at her She’s much stronger (I am here) She can stand (Here I stand) She has won She will raise him All alone Cause she has learned On her own That it’s okay To take this on To take this on She finds a silence Deep inside She’s faced the noise Faced the storm Into the water All alone All alone She’s much stronger (I am here) She can stand (Here I stand) She has won
11.
Happiness will kill you slowly Better off to make it quick Sadness is the best assassin In and out Always so slick Gets it done Without exception Sadness always does the trick Your regrets will leave you wanting Could’ve beens and should’ve dones It’s your bed and you have made it You have nowhere left to run Look behind Your bad decisions This is where you come undone Look behind You won’t like what you find Here it ends Your life of leisure Now begins unending pain The parade is marching slowly Can’t go back and start again As the band plays minor dirges Down an empty country lane [Wordless soulful sounds]
12.

about

We started making this album in January 2019. But we didn’t know it. At the time, the idea was to record a single, maybe an EP, but definitely not a new album. We were all burnt out at the end of 2018, especially Ken. We released our second album Everyone Knows the Disaster is Coming that summer, played a few shows, and Ken had two plays in production that year, one in DC and one in London’s West End. After we played our last show in November, we all needed a break.

But January happened, Cat came to New York, new music started happening. Ken finished some older songs and started quite a few new ones. Then Cat came back in March and we nailed a couple more songs including “A Parade of Regrets,” “The Happy Years” and “I Have So Much Love to Give.” In the case of that last song, Ken was playing the organ part and Cat ran into the studio and said, “I have to sing on that one,” while Hanya Yanagihara’s novel A Little Life provided the inspiration for Johnny on “The Happy Years.” The rest of the year was really productive, a very happy time where we found shelter from the anxiety of 2019.

By June, Ken started mixing these new songs with his friend and collaborator Daniel Kluger. Rather than just handing over the stems, Daniel and Ken spent months listening, re-arranging, adding and subtracting elements. But again, the band was in denial that we were making an album. We were just making songs. Lots of songs. By August, we had over twenty in various states of completion.

Then everything stopped. At the end of 2019, personal issues forced us to put recording on hold. And we all know what happened next. We had to cancel our 2020 spring show at MIT. March became April, and as Ken recovered from COVID, we thought everything was on hold indefinitely. But then some sunshine. In May, Daniel and Ken figured out a way to keep mixing the songs remotely using an app called ListenTo. And Ken and Johnny, since they were boyfriends who cohabitated, continued recording in the summer.

In July 2020, Ken started re-reading Roland Barthes’s A Lover’s Discourse, a strange and dense book where each chapter defines a facet of being in love. That book became the catalyst for transforming the assorted songs into a proper record. Ken arranged tracks into a storyline: from falling headlong in love, the eventual betrayal and heartbreak, to coming out the other side of that experience changed. Each song, like each chapter in A Lover’s Discourse, is an exploration of a specific feeling associated with the amorous experience.

We couldn’t have made this without our close friend Daniel Kluger. Christian Frederickson (from the band Rachel’s) played viola on three tracks, while actor-musician Peter Mark Kendall played guitar on “The Preferred One.” Thank you for adding your talents to these recordings. And a special thanks to you for listening.

xx Ken & Cat & Johnny xx
Summer 2021

credits

released August 20, 2021

All songs written by Ken Urban, Cat Hollyer, and Johnny Hager (© 2021 occurrencemusic)

Recorded and Produced by Ken Urban at the Berkshire Arms in Washington Heights, NYC
Mixed with Additional Production by Daniel Kluger at Archie & Fox Studios, NYC

Additional recording by Ken at Virginia Center for the Creative Arts in Amherst, VA (on “Boy Joy,” “Flies Dead Midair”) and Willapa Bay AiR in Ocean Park, WA (on “The Happy Years,” “Bad Sleep Well,” “A Parade of Regrets”)

Additional recording by Daniel at Archie & Fox Studios (on “I Have So Much Love to Give, “Boy Joy,” “The Happy Years,” “The Preferred One,” “Flies Dead Midair,” “Your Body Is Made of Flesh,” “Bad Sleep Well,” “My Eternal Autumn”)

Electric guitars on “The Preferred One” recorded by Peter at his home

Violas on “The Happy Years,” “My Eternal Autumn,” “I Had So Much Love to Give” recorded by Ken at the Berkshire Arms

“Drift” mixed by Ken at the Berkshire Arms on a TASCAM 4-Track Recorder

Mastered by Jessica Thompson

Album Artwork by The Dan Pecci Company

Digital Booklet designed by Sarah Conaway

Band photography by Cameron Scoggins

www.occurrencemusic.com

© + ℗ 2021 occurrencemusic

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Occurrence New York, New York

electronic nostalgic pop made by ken, cat & johnny

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